It's Me Or The Sprinkler
Stand up. Just do it. I'm getting all 'interactive' on your ass and conducting a little survey. Now move your hips back and forth, ever so slightly. Juuuuust back and forth like you ain't go nothing else on your mind, just swinging your hips. Whistle a little bit.
Now - was that hard? I didn't think so.
Sorry I just needed you to go through that little excercise with me to prove that the act of making love on the part of a man isn't that physically demanding. So my last bed-time buddy starts weezing and sweating like a banshee all over me when we're gettin' it on. We're talking mega-weezing, mega buckets of sweat. And the last thing a gal wants to feel when she's in bed with a guy is that it's like, work for him you know?
Yeah I guess we girls have it easy. All I basically have to do is lay prostrate for about a minute and a half. Oh yeah, I'm fantastic in bed.
No maybe I'm being harsh. Sweaty weezing-sex is still sex. And at least I'm getting some. But come guys - what happend to the art of performance here? Maybe it was me (although I'd like to think not as I looked hot). No I know what the problem is: Men and Priortizing. You've GOT to put your knob first.
How come I get sweating and weezing, when four hours earlier you're at a club on the dance floor, arms akimbo and you're giving your best Running Man and The Sprinkler? And with gusto no less! The worst is you've got that squinty look in your eyes biting your lower lip calling out to everyone as if to say 'check ME out, yo.' I'm standing there watching, at first laughing because yes, you do look like an idiot, and then my smile slowly fades as I realise that I'm going to get the worst sex of my life later on. And now all of my friends have seen your sex face.
Come on guys, for the love of St.Peter - prioritise.
Stand up. Just do it. I'm getting all 'interactive' on your ass and conducting a little survey. Now move your hips back and forth, ever so slightly. Juuuuust back and forth like you ain't go nothing else on your mind, just swinging your hips. Whistle a little bit.
Now - was that hard? I didn't think so.
Sorry I just needed you to go through that little excercise with me to prove that the act of making love on the part of a man isn't that physically demanding. So my last bed-time buddy starts weezing and sweating like a banshee all over me when we're gettin' it on. We're talking mega-weezing, mega buckets of sweat. And the last thing a gal wants to feel when she's in bed with a guy is that it's like, work for him you know?
Yeah I guess we girls have it easy. All I basically have to do is lay prostrate for about a minute and a half. Oh yeah, I'm fantastic in bed.
No maybe I'm being harsh. Sweaty weezing-sex is still sex. And at least I'm getting some. But come guys - what happend to the art of performance here? Maybe it was me (although I'd like to think not as I looked hot). No I know what the problem is: Men and Priortizing. You've GOT to put your knob first.
How come I get sweating and weezing, when four hours earlier you're at a club on the dance floor, arms akimbo and you're giving your best Running Man and The Sprinkler? And with gusto no less! The worst is you've got that squinty look in your eyes biting your lower lip calling out to everyone as if to say 'check ME out, yo.' I'm standing there watching, at first laughing because yes, you do look like an idiot, and then my smile slowly fades as I realise that I'm going to get the worst sex of my life later on. And now all of my friends have seen your sex face.
Come on guys, for the love of St.Peter - prioritise.
posted by KarenFantana at 12:48 AM
1 Comments:
Brilliant. Brilliant. Best thing I've read in the last thirty seconds. No lets be generous the last three minutes.
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